Your face is a jimmy john
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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