So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
