he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
