You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
