I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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