Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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