It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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