Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
