I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
