Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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