my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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