On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
