Barsexuality is the new black.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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