i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Randomize
