I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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