Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
