loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
