Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
