just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
