don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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