if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
