I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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