He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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