Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
