I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
