i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
