I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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