I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
