I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
