How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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