I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
