I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
