Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
