Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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