Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
