she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
hell yes lets make some ravioli
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
