We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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