she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize