How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
