Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
