I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
