Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
