i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
