Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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