we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
