So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
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I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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