We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
