is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
