i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
