There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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