We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
