Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
