Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
