I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
