I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
