I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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