i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You can't just leave with hair like that
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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