Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
