There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
