Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
