Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Damn victory sex feels great
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
