What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
