We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
